Stop punishing yourself! Happiness is not a forbidden desire, it’s a basic human need.

First of all, happiness is not synonym with pleasure. Happiness is a composite made of feelings driven by human needs.

Let’s see what we need, on the feelings side, not bodily functions.

1-To be accepted by others

We get a glimpse of ourself and settle on how the world works through the eye and the opinion of other people. That’s why mainstream is so strong, it’s the collectively accepted idea on how things are done in this world. In every interaction we seek others’ understanding of our actions and thoughts. This is so important that when it happens euphoria neurotransmitters are flushed between our neurones and when it doesn’t happen, stress hormones like norepinephrine come in play triggering a fight or flight response. 

2- To believe

This is scientifically proven. From the placebo effect to the existence of a supreme being, humans prefer to believe than to remain skeptical. And those who claim skeptical on one thing, believe something else. Believing is what comes naturally in our cognitive process; from communicating with others to causality of things. Beliefs go beyond religion, it’s the way our minds reason and think.

3- To own

Sharing is a word that doesn’t resonate well with humans. We have the need for ownership. Starting from material things like home, land, vehicles and reaching out to more abstract concept like power and people where the definition of ownership translates in a different way, yet the behavioural response remains. Nobody would say they own their kids or their partner, yet nobody would share them with others.

4- to mate in love

Regardless the heap of complications it creates, intimate physical pleasure accompanied with mental excitation (aka. love) is a human need and those who choose celibacy, are missing out on a major chapter of the human life book. It’s like going to a restaurant known for their popular pasta dish and try every other meal but this one. Beside the taste you are missing out, you are also unable to truly understand the rest of the people since that meal is the reason they’re at the restaurant in the first place.

5- To create

That can be from making burgers at your local diner to adjusting the Hubble telescope on a space walk. There is no less or more creative, or trying to be creative. Its more of a state of being that is fulfilling and satisfying in a deeper and private way.


Considering you are not ill and your bodily functions are covered (food, water, sleep), If you add the above fulfilled: BELEIF + POSSESSION + LOVE + ACCEPTANCE + CREATIVITY you get HAPPINESS

And since these are basic human needs, the derivative is also, you guessed it… a basic human need!

Free yourself from guilt and escape the cycle of self-pity and despair cause simply enough, you NEED to be happy 😃

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