THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS DEPRESSION. Sadness simply prevails upon your emotional receptors

Happiness kicks in to a degree that becomes identified by our emotional receptors as ‘pleasure’ during specific events or actions. Problem is these kicks are short lived and disappear with only a quick echo.

You get a present, you FEEL happy; your child does well in school, you have a nice meal; your happiness spikes at your receptors again. When the event passes or the action stops, you feel…neutral, as if your feeling receptors have stopped functioning. In reality, you are still happy but your happiness is dormant and doesn’t stimulate your receptors past the threshold of giving you noticeable feedback.

Sadness on the other hand has its own kicks, which last longer and leave a more precipitating echo. After the saddening action or event is gone, your emotional receptors are still active, feeling that echo just like you feel the after taste of a strong liqueur.

So, happiness leaves you neutral after the kick while sadness keeps you in the FEELING zone longer. If the drug itself is our craving to FEEL regardless the feeling type, then sadness has clearly an advantage.

Because of that longer lasting high, sadness has conditioned your emotional receptors to drift towards unhappiness when idle. That might contradict the notion that no one wants to be unhappy, yet your mind takes you there without asking permition. Remember, the drug is not happiness or sadness, is our emotional receptors to be hard at work, to FEEL something …anything. Sadness gives feedback that lasts longer so the mind prefers that to keep the receptors busy.

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Soooo, freedom! It’s not your fault you are clung to sadness nor you find shelter and comfort when your heart is in pain. It’s just your mind/self/body/ craving to FEEL.

If you are tired of sadness and you want to change sides, you need to REALIZE this concept.

You are not pulled towards sadness because you belong there or you have a predisposition or you are dark and gloomy; or because life has been unfair to you. Its because your emotional receptors when idle, choose sadness as the most satisfying way to fire up.

Let me know when you own that concept and i will give you the tools to make happiness spikes last longer with a far batter after taste than the toxic one sadness leaves 😉

Blower VS Vacuum. Ditch your bag!

If you are an introvert, keep reading; if you are an extrovert, have a break with some window shopping on Amazon; unless, you are not sure which side you lean to, so go ahead and invest on this 2min read.
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In reality no one is a locked introvert incapable of becoming an extrovert and vice versa.
Anyone can be going through an introvert phase in their life, the problem is when you are in this phase for as long as you can remember yourself 🙂

So, How do you know if you are in the introvert phase?
Ask yourself:

‘Do i often find myself in comfort shutting others out while pushing all my wants and needs into the eternal oblivion of my inner self?’

If yes… then yes; you are in the intro phase. If you want out, here is how.

Imagine yourself as a garden blower with the switch inverted to the suck position and a bag attached.

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Imagine every leaf as a bit of experience; a movie you watched, what your colleague told you the other day, a situation with the kids, a conversation with your partner; anything and everything basically.
Now imagine you have a dissolving mechanism in the bag that actually melts the leafs down, like a composter but it takes long to do that.

You think the current rate of social functioning will allow you to dissolve the leafs, as fast as you suck them in, thus preventing the bag from exploding?
Probably not.

So, the bag is going to blow up at some point, the question is when. And when it does the explosion will hurt you, as well as those close to you.

Why not ditching the bag now, since you will (brutally) lose it anyway.
 
The only thing you have to do is turn the switch from ‘suck’ to ‘blow’.

One last thing;
first remove the bag, then flip the switch. Do it the other way around, and you will blast you decomposing shit to everyone who is close to you.
Loose your harbored stuff by throwing them away, not towards the people close to you.
Becoming an extrovert is not an act of retribution towards others, its an act of forgiveness to yourself. You don’t have to store everybody’s load in that bag, you don’t need the bag altogether, cos by having it, you are bound to store stuff in it.

One more last, last thing;
no one will ditch the bag for you, some might help you but in the end of the day, YOU have to detach it and throw it away.

Yestermorrow. 2 mental processes that have you missing your life.

Free your mind‘ said Morpheus to Neo in “The Matrix”. Easier said than done…

There are 2 responses that while manifest at the present, reside in another timeline and their main task is keeping your mental process a prisoner pacing about in a cell. The one is ‘disbelief’ and comes from the past; the other is ‘fear’ and comes form the future.

1 – Disbelief uses our past experience as a measure to accept sentiments and facts. Say a friend tells you she witnessed a miracle healing with her own eyes. Due to its rarity that event does not exist in your experience library making your first response to be disbelief.

Events that fall far outside the experience pool of the mainstream, trigger an automatic denial to our belief system. Becoming aware of this response is the first step to preventing it and keeping a more open mind. With practice, your belief system will become more flexible allowing more space for new unexplored concepts to grow and less room for judging and denying.

2 – Fear is the other response, in this case time-traveling from the future. Most fears in life are based on non-existing scenarios we create in our minds. From a meeting’s outcome to your kid’s night out, we hypothesize future outcomes that spawn fear. At the time we do so none of that fearful thinking can be substantiated nor confirmed. It only exists in our minds fast forward plotting.

The problem is fear spreads like a virus; it starts form one area and moves to many other even unrelated ones triggering a cascade of negative thinking. That’s why is so difficult to control it. It’s not that you are weak, it’s that fear is a disease from the future that you are asked to cure in the present. That’s impossible. The only way to control the fear is not to allow it entrance in the first place.

On the side of the defendant, both disbelief and fear function as a safeguard by not allowing self-destructive behavior and foolish risks. (Yes, if you jump off a building you are NOT going to fly, no matter how strongly you think you will).

Overcoming disbelief and life fears does not mean deafness to your safeguard function. It means opening your mind to new concepts and ideas, allowing yourself to grow in areas you used to instantly disregard.

It means keeping your perception to the present time without past or future distraction. This practice will make you see life in a whole different way; you will feel stronger, increase your faith and your daily gratitude. If you are one of the millions who live in fear and disbelief practicing their removal from your daily life will be like lifting a blindfold. As if you were looking at life through the keyhole and all of a sudden someone opened the door.

The 3 Steps to Problem Solving

This is a 3fold process. Practice the following visualization to literally… put things into perspective.

Fold One
Think of the problem you are faced with, as a object you can rotate in you hand.
At first, it might appear spherical without corners and weak spots.
Keep rotating and observing and you will start seeing perspective lines; before you know it, the sphere will turn into a cube.

Fold Two
Examine all the angles and choose one the appears to be leading into a solution. This is a fairly easy step, it’s the one staring at you with a label ‘solution’ on it; don’t question it, just go with it.

Fold Three
This is the trickiest part
LOCK the cube in that direction and look ONLY at the solution.
Do NOT question your choice.
Do NOT rotate the cube again to re-examine other options (you have been there soooo many times!)

If you keep yourself on that path, you WILL reach the solution of your problem. In fact, you will be “living” the solution from the moment you decide to commit to that path.
Now the pits we all fall in trying to find and implement a solution to a life problem (fold respective):

Fold One We think there is no handle to our problem, (a solid sphere)

Fold Two We are intimidated by the problem so we expect the solution to be scary-complicated and unimplementable. 99% of the time is not, it’s the simplest one (staring at you). Make your move, pick that.

Fold Three We second-guess our choice before we even proceed to implementing the solution we picked. We re-examine already rejected alternatives and we end up consumed by the problem. This is THE highway to loosing sight of the solution

IMG_0278You cannot implement a solution if you are focused on the problem. It’s like trying to walk straight ahead while you are looking back. It is impossible you need to look where you want to go.

Stop looking at the problem, keep your eyes on the solution.

Trying VS Making

This might sound as a cliche but i feel many people confuse trying with making. I also feel the reason behind trying instead of making is more often than not… pure laziness.

A option-packed, easy-living world with instant fulfilment. This is the cage of our own making. We want options to try out, we want it as easy as it gets and we want results delivered immediately. The exact opposite features of any personal development endeavour.

From Siri to that new wifi coffee machine, the promise remains; fast, effortless, instant. Fast forward 40y from now to 2060, heck… even eating will be too much effort! A bio-energy feed will give us what we need while sleeping.

Of course, the point is not going back to fetching water from the well, it’s about acknowledging that some things STILL (and always WILL) need effort. And i don’t mean moving to a bigger house or getting the latest iphone; to quote Al Pacino “money is the easy thing”. The hard is to develop yourself in becoming more aware of self and others, to improving your situation management, showing patience, flexibility, forgiveness, compassion.

This is how the instant and effortless tryout lifestyle set us back:

• Patience? too much time; snapping is easier.

• Awareness? too tiring, oblivion is easier.

• Flexibility? ….impossible, too complicated, rather be rigid.

• Compassion? …naa, too much thinking and emoting.

 

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Point is there are many smart machines to tryout but only so few virtues in life. Trying them out the fast and easy way doesn’t work, you have to put some back to them for change to happen. And unlike the smart coffee maker, there is no “auto on” function, YOU have to light ’em up -every time!

Stop punishing yourself! Happiness is not a forbidden desire, it’s a basic human need.

First of all, happiness is not synonym with pleasure. Happiness is a composite made of feelings driven by human needs.


Let’s see what we need, on the feelings side, not bodily functions.

1-To be accepted by others

We get a glimpse of ourself and settle on how the world works through the eye and the opinion of other people. That’s why mainstream is so strong, it’s the collectively accepted idea on how things are done in this world. In every interaction we seek others’ understanding of our actions and thoughts. This is so important that when it happens euphoria neurotransmitters are flushed between our neurones and when it doesn’t happen, stress hormones like norepinephrine come in play triggering a fight or flight response. 

2- To believe

This is scientifically proven. From the placebo effect to the existence of a supreme being, humans prefer to believe than to remain skeptical. And those who claim skeptical on one thing, believe something else. Believing is what comes naturally in our cognitive process; from communicating with others to causality of things. Beliefs go beyond religion, it’s the way our minds reason and think.

3- To own

Sharing is a word that doesn’t resonate well with humans. We have the need for ownership. Starting from material things like home, land, vehicles and reaching out to more abstract concept like power and people where the definition of ownership translates in a different way, yet the behavioural response remains. Nobody would say they own their kids or their partner, yet nobody would share them with others.

4- to mate in love

Regardless the heap of complications it creates, intimate physical pleasure accompanied with mental excitation (aka. love) is a human need and those who choose celibacy, are missing out on a major chapter of the human life book. It’s like going to a restaurant known for their popular pasta dish and try every other meal but this one. Beside the taste you are missing out, you are also unable to truly understand the rest of the people since that meal is the reason they’re at the restaurant in the first place.


5- To create

That can be from making burgers at your local diner to adjusting the Hubble telescope on a space walk. There is no less or more creative, or trying to be creative. Its more of a state of being that is fulfilling and satisfying in a deeper and private way.

So,

Considering you are not ill and your bodily functions are covered (food, water, sleep), If you add the above fulfilled: BELEIF + POSSESSION + LOVE + ACCEPTANCE + CREATIVITY you get HAPPINESS

And since these are basic human needs, the derivative is also, you guessed it… a basic human need!



Free yourself from guilt and escape the cycle of self-pity and despair cause simply enough, you NEED to be happy 😃

Inhale Future – Exhale Past

Find a comfortable spot and practice the following visualization. Breath in and out in equal times. Exhale from your mouth and inhale from your nose. Every time you exhale imagine you let go of the past, like a load leaving your body, freeing up space. Every time you inhale imagine you breath in the future. Opening up yourself to the new, the exploring, the challenge of the unknown. Repeat the process for a couple of minutes or until you feel ok with it.

For those clung to the past this can help them appreciate the now and look forward to the future. For those fearful of leaping ahead it can increase courage and confidence.

Repeat the visualization when you feel yourself backtracking or simply unable to move ahead.

The mechanics of this exercise are based on the fact that regarding our personal development there is no future and no past. There is only now. At any moment we are able to turn things around, leap forward and escape our mental prison however strong the constrains are.

Try it out a few times and see the results for yourself.